love note | Messy Media – Should We Follow Our Significant Other?

lovenote Facebook. Twitter. Instagram. Vine. Those aren’t just social media sites, but they occupy a huge slice of just about everyone’s daily activity. My biggest concern here is not that it sucks time into a massive black hole (and decreases productivity), but that it RUINS relationships! Just think, how many times have you and your gf/bf/wife/husband had a spat over something posted on a social media site? Play the hoity-toity role if you will, but I’m honest enough to say that it’s happened to me.

Should we friend/follow each other? If I had to make the choice all over again, I’d say NO! I don’t care how mature you guys are, how well you get along, how much you all promise not to do this and that, you will STILL end up at each others’ necks over something dumb. Scenario… We’re mad at each other. You get on IG and post something that was sublimely directed towards me. I read it. I get angry. I confront you and you deny it OR you snap back at me. Not only are we even MORE upset with one another, but those little creeps who love to stick their nose in other people’s business get the most delight out of speculation. Don’t give them the satisfaction.

WHY are you following him/her?! I don’t like them. It may be an ex or someone who’s crushing on your lover. Ok, so it’s a little petty to say that he or she can’t follow a certain person — UNLESS the two of them are comment flirting back and forth or either party is being disrespectful. This can get really ugly. Threats of losing your relationship can start with just one little comment/tweet/message/video.

Put that damn phone down! This is the worst. I think checking social media can become quite obsessive. You can pick up your phone without really noticing that you have and the next thing you know your brain has unconsciously taken you to Twitter… annnnd you’re scrolling… and scrolling…. and laughing… and making crazy facial expressions… and scrolling… and tweeting… and WHAM you’re in a social stupor! That is, until the phone gets smacked or snatched out of your hand and you realize you’re being yelled at. The conversation becomes repetitive and instead of it being about something ON the social network, it’s about the actual social network itself. Spend time with your mate and not so much the phone.


I know that times have evolved and social media and technology are just a way of life; but there are just some places that it doesn’t belong—like, in your relationship. I’m not trying to sound like I’m behind the times, but ultimately I feel that social media is NOT the place for airing out your dirty relationship laundry. Not only is it childish and downright ridiculous, you’re welcoming the thousands of friends and followers that you’ve accumulated into your personal business. Oh, and with screenshot/video recording capabilities your business can travel the world in a matter of seconds. You know, people have been getting incriminated with heinous acts on social media (Google: Derek Medina) as of late, so what makes you think you’re relationship is exempt from being murdered?

Bottom line, if you’re in a relationship, keep the social media drama to a minimum. It’s meant to be recreational—not a virtual relationship counselor or a battle ground for personal issues.

[written by contributor, arianne burrell.]